Thursday, April 11, 2013

J is for Jacked Up

Jacked up - a term used to express things not being as they should be.  i.e. - "I jacked up my knee playing tennis yesterday." Or "Everything is all jacked up as a result of that awful nightmare."  Clearly this is not an official term, but it's the perfect expression of how I'm feeling right this very moment.

The Jacked Up state of being can come on very quickly and for seemingly  no reason.  It's often only after hours of letting the 'why' of the jacked-up-edness float about in my subconscious that I start to get a glimmer of an answer.  See, for me, this mysterious sense of things just being off somehow is how the Jacked Up works in my life, as opposed to the tennis injury.  I don't play tennis.

It starts as a mild and distant rumble.  I'm overly tired, a little bit snippy for example.  Then it's a sense that I'm forgetting something I'm supposed to do, or I've forgotten something that has gone wrong and I'll remember any moment.  From this point its a fairly rapid spiral until I'm feeling tears or rage build, and there's a knowing that I must have done something wrong, or missed something very important.

Generally I discover that something which seemed small at the time has snuck up on me, emotionally speaking, has poked at a wound I thought healed or some such.  Some days I figure it out.  Some days I have to let it go.  Sleep almost always helps.  Today I'm victorious.  I've discovered the source of my Jacked Up experience before bed time.

I was able to meditate on it a little.  I didn't find an answer or solution, but it's only a matter of time once I know what my trouble is.

Jacked Up.  Some of you may have heard this before.  Perhaps your usage is different.  At any rate, feel free to use my definition in conversation.  Said with the right amount of vehemence I find it to be a very satisfying and convincing way of expressing how messed up things can feel sometimes without having to resort to my dirty pirate language.

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